The Middle School Dance…I Went In To Chaperone and Came Out Scarred For Life

A little over a week ago I volunteered to chaperone a middle school dance that was held to raise money for Project Graduation (an alcohol & drug free after graduation celebration). I love helping for a good cause and had always wondered what went on at the middle school dances, especially since I have one now in middle school. Although, he has went to 3 dances (all at the beginning of the year) and has had no desire to return, but went to this one because I was going and he wanted to help sell the snacks with me.

So off we went to set up and get ready for the arrival of the middle schoolers from the two middle schools in the area. Which by the way I noticed two extremes when I was at this dance in the size arena…middle schoolers are either super tiny and look like they are my middle child’s age or they are massive and look older than me. What happened to looking like the age you are? Looking younger is find but dang some of the middle schoolers were bigger than me in many different ways.

Next was the clothes….if I walked out of the house, at that age, wearing some of the things these little girls were wearing I would have never seen the light of the world until I was old enough to support myself. I saw 6 inch stilettos, shorts with VERY little coverage, one of those cut off shirts (like in flash dance) that you are supposed to wear a tank under…well there was nothing under there and when paired with the tiny shorts it left little to the imagination. I was shaking my head and didn’t know whether to be angry at the parents (if they knew what she was wearing) or pity this poor girl who is obviously barking up the wrong attention tree. There were some appropriately dressed adorable little kids there so not all hope has been lost.

Clothing brings me to the final nail in my scarred for life coffin….the dancing. OMGOSH. I am not kidding when I say I almost threw up, it saddened me to watch these girls. In high school I dirty danced, I am going to fess up right now but even I didn’t dance like this. Girls were doing moves that you will either see in a video like “Salt Shaker” or “Cyclone” or in a strip joint (of course never having gone in one I am just guessing LOL). The parents on the floor were doing the best they could to keep it clean but you can’t monitor every single middle schooler every minute. It was sickening to me and broke my heart for these girls who felt the need to grab the wrong kind of attention. While I didn’t dance near as dirty, I have been there years ago and the kind of attention they are getting is definitely not the kind they really want.

It made me realize how thankful I am that my son has no interest in attending these dances and how glad I was to see him a bit uncomfortable with it all. I may not be able to keep him innocent for much longer but am glad to have him innocent for as long as I can. It also made me realize I hope to instill in my daughter self worth, holding yourself to a high standard and honoring your body. It also made me realize she will never attend a middle school dance unless I am there chaperoning…so not kidding! You can never be too proactive when it comes to making sure they are holding themselves and their standards to a higher level right!

In case you are wondering my son did get out there with a few of his friends half way through the night and did the cha cha slide, but he would have no part of letting me get out there with him something about me embarrassing him LOL. I have to say what middle school was when I was that age and what it is today are two totally different worlds and it makes me wonder what it will be like in 5 years when my daughter and other son are there.

I’m not the only blogger who has had this joy…check out Lynsey’s post “Lessons From A Middle School Dance” to see what she learned!  Her experience was definitely a little different than mine, I am going to have to relay that tip to our dj about the country music threat LOL!

Have you ever chaperoned a middle school dance or been surprised at how middle schoolers today act?

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Toni is a professional lifestyle blogger living on the sunny Florida Gulf Coast. She has a passion for Disney, Travel, Fashion, Cooking, Tech, Family Fun Ideas, Reviews, Giveaways and loves being able to share that with her readers!


  1. 1

    I have never chaperoned a middle school dance, and i am sure they have changed quite a bit since we were in school, but i have thought about chaperoning one but not letting my 13 yr old daughter know that i was just to see what she actually does at them….i think i will volunteer for the next one….

  2. 2

    I can so relate to how you felt/feel! When one of my daughters went to her 6th grade dance, I was shocked to see some of the girls show up in skin tight, sequined, strapless dresses, with 6 inch heels! I was not expecting to see that! And you are right about the dancing… very provocative… The whole thing is really sad, because these kids are way too young to be dressing and behaving in this manner… It really bothers me to see kids- and even toddlers– sexualized… their childhood is being taken away… 🙁

  3. 3

    Thank you for making me get up and write my post for this as well LOL Funny how we had different experiences!! I cant wait to see how it goes next year LOL

  4. 4

    It really is sad. I see children at my children’s elementary school wearing things that are very inappropriate.

  5. 5

    I’ve never chaperoned but that will change in a couple months when I go to Disney World – Animal Kingdom with my daughter’s FIRST grade class. Shoot me now! lol

  6. 6

    My son is in the 3rd grade, and I’ve been hearing horror stories about middle school, for the past 4 years now. So my hubby and I are 95% sure we will be homeschooling my son during the middle school years. He’s so tender-hearted and I’m concerned with bullying, among other things. :/ But yes, I’ve seen the way middle school kids dress and act — it is heartbreaking.

  7. 7

    I can honestly tell you I hated the Middle School Years with my kids, the girls were annoying and the boys are in such a transition. My kids totally faired well (not a word I know) But some OMG what are your parents thinking?

  8. 8

    I’ve not gone yet…. sounds scary!lol

  9. 9

    I am now officially terrified for my kids to grow up, LOL! We’re overly strict parents and I’m pretty sure our kids will hate us during the middle school years and thank us when they’re adults.

  10. 10

    With a 14 year old son at home – I don’t think I should ever go to one of his dances. I’d lock him up and throw away the key!

  11. 11

    Whoa – I am a little afraid of what it will be like when my first graders gets that old!

  12. 12

    I teach middle schoolers. ;P

  13. 14

    It is so sad. 🙁 My heart breaks for all those kids whose parents aren’t looking out for them.

  14. 15

    I remember feeling the exact same way. It’s CRAZY how they dance today, absolutely crazy.

  15. 16

    I’m so glad my son is grown. That just freaked me out Toni.

  16. 17

    I’m the cool mom about a lot of things but being completely inappropriate I won’t tolerate. i wouldn’t have been able to keep my cool

  17. 18
    Mandy- Mommy Cracked

    Kids just grow up way too fast these days. It’s sad. I teach elementary kids who know more in Kindergarten than I did when I was 14! It’s great that your son is not into all this. I know it eases your mind greatly! LOL! It would mine, too. I shudder to think how it will be when my 7 year old is a little older. *scared*

  18. 19

    I thought the same thing when I saw some of the middle school kids in our new town. They are TINY! And middle school girls are growing up WAY too fast too if you ask me.

  19. 20

    It’s so scary!! I wish these girls had more self esteem or logic, or that the parents could force a bit more sanity into them. I’m so afraid of my kids reaching that age. My daughter will be there next year!! But she’s the itty bitty nerd so I have some hope.

  20. 21

    awwwww man u should see what it’s like around here for halloween. I think it’s like the strip clubs and these girls are in highschool. I swear it’s like you want to go beat the parents up for not paying attention

  21. 22

    I am not looking forward to my boys growing up. At all.

  22. 23

    I think that this article has sexist undertones. Girls should be able to wear what they want and do what they want without someone thinking they are “barking up the wrong attention tree.” There is nothing wrong with wearing what makes you feel good, or dancing whichever way you like. I do think that peer pressure is a serious problem for young girls, but we should be encouraging them to be themselves not implying that something they may actually genuinely enjoy makes them obscene or ‘slutty’ in any way. In fact, by telling a girl she shouldn’t do certain things because she is attracting the wrong attention and she doesn’t need to do that to herself (aka degrading or cheapen-ing herself to get guys) is just another person telling girls what they should be doing instead of maybe letting them be themselves.

    • 24

      Oh Isabella, I think you are wrong but that is the great thing about opinions we are all allowed one. I am definitely not sexist but I do think there is something called age appropriate and this was not. I certainly hope my daughter at that age does not feel the need to dress like that to feel good about herself. I want her to be her own person but with a healthy level of self respect and that means leaving some things to the imagination! Thanks for your comment though it’s always nice to get other POV’s

  23. 25

    Well I have a 14 year old 8th grade girl, and the thought of “wearing what makes you feel good” is crap!! She has friends that dress highly inappropriately for their age, and they and their parents think they are oh so cute!! What 13 yo girl needs to be wearing a low cut top that attempts to show their developing body?! At that age….boys think they are easy sluts!!! Words from my daughters “boy” friends!! What some preteen/early teens wear, is waaay over their ability to control what advances they may get from much older guys!! And let’s be real…there are guys out there that would have zero issue with taking full on advantage of a 13 yo girl. And yes as wrong as it may be…it’s because of what they are putting out there!! Look at some of the pics they post on FB!! I’m horror struck by some of them!! Then you get the comments from parents aunts and uncles saying how cute they look!! Um hello…a mini skirt that barely covers her butt, and a tank top that barely covers their boobs?!? wtf are parents thinking?!? We live in a world where pedophiles surf the web looking for girls just lie these girls. Most don’t employ the strict settingson their FB pages. And their parents dont even think to check their settings. Well I have complete access to my 17 yo boys and 14 yo girls FB accounts. And if they had inappropriate pics or posts, the would be HELL to pay. As far as sexist undertones?!? I think toni’s observations and opinions are far from it!!

  24. 26

    I think I phrased what I meant incorrectly. What makes a girl feel good is NOT about being sexually attractive or non-age-appropriate. The point is that women were so repressed for so long and this is just a smaller version of that. What I mean is that telling a girl to “leave a little to the imagination” is putting the blame on the girls. And I don’t want to do that. You should be able to wear what you want without fear from judgement. And sadly most of that judgement comes from other women! I am just saying we should support other girls instead of tearing them down with comments about how inappropriate their clothes or dancing are, so many people already demean young girls. They are not necessarily trying to show off their body. Of course safety is an issue, and I would never ask a woman to put their daughter in what they thought was a dangerous situation. But please please stop blaming the girls’ “inappropriate clothes” for sexual predators. It’s time to switch the blame to society. I want my daughter to grow up in a world where I don’t have to tell her how to dress because she grows up confident and secure, and not having to worry about people who may hurt her or women who will judge her or me for how she dresses.

  25. 27

    I just started HS & all I can say was grinding made the dances fun. But it was w/my crush so IT WAS AMAZING!! 😉

  26. 28

    As a former middle schooler, (I just started highschool this year), the school dances were completely inappropriate and uncomfortable. At my school’s dances it was always crazy dark. You’d be screaming over tons of rowdy teens to find your buddies. It must of been super difficult to chaperone with little to no light. Poor things… Not only was the clothing riskee, but the dancing was plain creepy! Already not being a fan of the art of dance, I was always the awkward kid in the back of the dance floor eating from the chocolate fountain. Such fond, chocolatey memories…

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