There comes a moment in every adult’s life when you think, “Wow, I finally have some stability.”
And then, if you’re me, you immediately ruin it by enrolling in four psychology classes while working full?time and occasionally sacrificing a Saturday like it’s a ritual offering to the gods of capitalism. Because apparently I hate myself, so why not add academic chaos to the emotional Jenga tower that is my mid?40s.
My Daily Affirmation: “I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.” (as I watch the flames grow higher and higher in the proverbial dumpster fire known as my current mental state)
This is not an affirmation. This is a threat I whisper to myself while Canvas loads at the speed of trauma.
Work: A Choose?Your?Own?Nightmare Adventure
My workplace has two personalities:
- Slow enough to make me question my life choices and wonder if I should’ve become a barista in Costa Rica
- Chaotic enough where I spring around like an overcaffeinated meerkat and questioning my career choices
There is no middle ground. Just vibes.
Thankfully, my coworkers are my emotional support squad, my workplace life raft, my “we’re all in this dumpster fire together” crew. If they ever quit, I’d likely dissolve into the puddle of my own tears
My Academic Life: A Rainbow-Coded Cry for Help
I am a highlighter person.
Not a casual highlighter person.
A “my notes look like a Skittles crime scene” highlighter person.
I also have to assign specific days to specific classes because if I don’t, I’ll accidentally write an Abnormal Psych paper about adolescent identity formation while diagnosing my Social Psych professor with a God complex.
Let’s Discuss These Classes Before I Start Crying Again
Abnormal Psychology
My reason for living.
My academic soulmate.
The class that whispered, “Leave elementary ed… come to the dark side,” and I said, “Say less.”
Industrial/Organizational Psychology
The plot twist of the century.
I didn’t expect to love it, but now I walk into work like:
“Hmm. Dysfunction. A lack of structure. Zero reinforcement. Let me just….analyze this.”
I?O Psych has turned me into the workplace version of Gordon Ramsey
Except instead of yelling about raw scallops, I’m staring into the security cameras making sure they know all about the organizational structure they do not have.
Psychology of Adolescence
This one is cute…makes me a nostalgic.
Reminds me of coaching — but with science….and fewer hormones
Social Psychology
The content? Fine.
The professor who thinks a “quiz” should be 50 questions long.
Ma’am, that is not a quiz. That is a cry for help, a hostile act.
My exams in other classes have fewer questions than her “warm?ups.”
My Coping Mechanisms (A Scientific Breakdown, Ranked by Chaos)
- Crying while doing assignments
- Crying before doing assignments
- Crying after doing assignments
- Beach days where I stare at the ocean like it owes me answers
- The occasional adult beverage
- Telling my psychiatrist and therapist everything because they signed up for this
- Highlighting things that do not need to be highlighted
- Mental breakdowns (the quick, efficient kind)
- Pretending I’m organized
- Running on vibes and caffeine
My Energy Levels
Some days: zombie
Other days: feral raccoon who found an energy drink
There is no in?between. My nervous system is either asleep or auditioning for Cirque du Soleil.
So Why Am I Doing This?
Because I want this degree.
Because I love psychology.
Because I’m stubborn.
Because I’m proving it’s never too late to reinvent yourself and chase your dreams.
And because apparently I thrive in chaos like a plant that only grows in fire.
Final Thoughts
If you’re also in your mid?40s, working full?time, taking classes, and questioning your sanity — welcome.
We are the gifted and the cursed. The exhausted and the ambitious. The “I’m fine” warriors
And honestly? We’re killing it!
Toni Patton
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