Grudges and Unforgiveness…Who Are They Really Hurting?


I woke up this morning, and in fact have woken up the last week, completely out of character. The past week or so, I have been feeling very inadequate and insecure due to a situation.  In return, I began to get anxiety, anger, depressed, the wall immediately begin to spring up and I started to hold grudges and unforgiveness.   It’s easier to shut everyone out and move on, right?


There is never a “shut everyone out” that will successfully happen.  When you put the wall up, you are isolating yourself, now granted I didn’t shut everyone in my life out, just the ones who triggered these feelings/emotions.  The funny thing is, there were just a few instances that something was said and it really shouldn’t have been that big of a deal, I should have brushed it off and moved on.  But because of already feeling judged, up came the insecurities, quickly followed by grudges (or unforgiveness, they are the same in my book).

The definition of a grudge, a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury.

While I was holding onto grudges it was affecting me.  Regardless of what anyone did or said to me that triggered these feelings, I am the one who continued to dwell on it, so I am the one affected, it’s not affecting anyone else. Instead of immediately going to God and giving it to him, I let it fester.  What happens when we let a cut fester?  It gets infected and gross. That’s essentially what a grudge does to your heart and soul….makes it become infected and gross.  The longer you let it fester, the more infected it becomes.

When we hold grudges or unforgiveness, we are essentially saying “God,  I don’t want to give this to you, I want to hold onto unforgiveness“.  What a slap in the face to God…the one, who sent his son to die on the cross so that we might have eternal life, so that we can be forgiven.  Yet we are going to hold unforgiveness in our heart to another??!!!  There is no way you can give a good reason for justifying that!

All I can say, is when I woke up at 3:30 yet again this morning I just knew I had to get in my Bible.  I also knew I was so very thankful He is nothing like me and forgives me in that instant I ask for it, even when I don’t ask for it I’m already forgiven! Me holding onto something is so hurtful to God, it’s like saying I don’t trust Him enough to help me heal, that He can’t take care of a situation or that I could care less he forgave me.  When nothing could be further from the truth.



As I was lead to read in Colossians  and  Romans, it hit me, so hard, I was doing the exact opposite of what I am supposed to do.

Colossians 3:12-17 (NIV) says:

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Romans 12: 9-21 (NIV)

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Now granted I don’t want burning coals on anyones head, but what I take that part as, is God’s saying “I’ve got this”.   God has got this, so, what am I (or you) doing holding onto it. It would be super easy to say I am justified in feeling the way I do, but what does holding onto unforgiveness do…it keeps me back. I can’t move forward in my walk with God, because I am not giving a situation that is making my heart infected, to Him. I am saying it’s more important for my pride to stay in tact and for me to keep a guard up, than it is to trust Him to help me move past this and remedy the situation.

How many others out there do that same thing? We get hurt, we hold on, we are stuck in a ditch all because we feel if we forgive we are somehow saying what was done to us was okay. But that isn’t the case, you are not saying it’s okay, but rather I am strong enough to move on. I trust God that when I am put in the situation or around those people, I know who I am in Him.  You are saying I am going to love those and treat them just like God loves and treats me.

People or situations can only make you feel as bad as you let them, so choose today to let go of the grudges or unforgiveness you’ve held onto. It doesn’t mean forgetting, because we have to have wisdom on how to deal with situations and people, but rather you will not let that person or situation define who you are in your daily life or your spiritual walk. For me, I want to move forward and I can’t do that when I am holding onto a grudge.  So, today, I state I am letting go and giving this situation and the hurt to God!  It may take me saying it over and over, praying and praying some more, but I will not dwell on it any more.  I want to walk in blessings, but God can’t give those to me if I am harboring unforgiveness.  I have some things to give to God this morning!

What about you?

Give It To God

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Toni is a professional lifestyle blogger living on the sunny Florida Gulf Coast. She has a passion for Disney, Travel, Fashion, Cooking, Tech, Family Fun Ideas, Reviews, Giveaways and loves being able to share that with her readers!

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