Are You An Example For Your Children? And A Letter to Mine.

As I sit here thinking I think about what my children see when they look at me.  What do they think when I raise my voice?  How do they perceive the actions I do?  And it really got me wondering if many people out there question what kind of an example they are setting for their children.

Would people be able to say they would be proud of the way they acted?  Would they want their children to act in ways they have?  Our children are the next generation, what we teach them they are taking forward with them and in turn teaching those lessons to future generations.  What is it we want them to take with them?

Is it to be mean to others, to try to tear others down, to blackmail others, to say it’s okay to use things told in confidence against someone, to harass others, to not trust, to not love, to be selfish.  The only correct way is their way, that they shouldn’t be okay with compromise in some cases.  If that is what some people are okay with teaching their children then that saddens me.  It makes my heart hurt for those children.  What a horrible example to have to follow.

As for me and my house we will serve God, we will not tear others down we will lift them up, we will know that sometimes compromise is key (not in all circumstances of course), that just because a friendship ends it doesn’t give free reign to spill anything told in confidence.  I want them to know that harassing someone else is never the key, being mean to someone doesn’t make you better than them, and instead of being selfish it’s better to be selfless.  Give of themselves, be a confidant for someone who needs a friend, love someone who others may not.  I want them to be confident enough that if they see a group of people being mean to someone they will stand up for what’s right no matter if it costs them “popularity points”.

To my children:

My dear sweet angels I hope every day that passes you know undoubtedly how very much I love you.  My life was so incomplete before you all made your appearance into this world.  I want you to know that you don’t have to go with the flow, sometimes the flow is grouped with people who like to tear down and destroy others.  If you notice that is the flow surrounding you I want you to push yourself out, I want you to stand up to people who are out to hurt others for gain.  I want you to show that to gain doesn’t mean to tear down but rather build others up.

There is a phrase “Don’t do as I do, do as I say”  however as your mother I don’t want that to be a phrase for us to follow.  I want you to see me as an example.  Have I done things in my past without thinking about the consequences, absolutely.  Have I learned lessons the hard way, definitely.  However because of that I can honestly say I have learned and now I will take into account everything I do because I want you not only to do as I say but do as I do.  What good is being a parent to you if I can’t be the example for you to follow.

I see children who have parents who are a terrible example for them. Children who have nothing to learn from but hurt, anger, watching their parents treat others badly and that hurts my heart and solidifies even more that I will not be one of those parents. I want to be your example.  I want to teach you by example because even when parents think they aren’t, children are watching the example we set and it’s during those times I think affect the children more than anything.  The moments we parent’s are not obvious to the fact our children are taking in everything we do or say.  The actions we have, they way we treat others, the things we say.

I want others to look at you and see three amazing children who treat others with respect, kindness and yet don’t allow themselves to be walked all over.  You don’t have to be a bully to stand up for yourself and a lot of people have forgotten that.  It’s easier for them to attack and hurt others to make themselves seem stronger but in the end that will leave them with a reputation that one doesn’t want to be stuck with.   I want them to see God in all aspects of your life from how you speak to your actions.  I am looking forward to watching you grow and change over the years and to see the awesome plan God has for your lives.

Through the years the one thing I hope you will be able to say when you think of me as your parent is:

“Because she is my mom I learned what love was, I learned what it meant to trust, be kind to others, to help others, to support others.  I learned that it’s okay not to jump on the bandwagon when that wagon is headed in a wrong direction.  It’s okay to go against the flow when the flow is taking you in the wrong direction.  You don’t have to attack others or tear the down just to make yourself look better.  I learned what it mean to be a friend and just because a friendship may end doesn’t give me the right to share things that aren’t mine to share.  I learned what it truly means to lead by example and most importantly I learned that no matter what, whether I was good or bad your love for me didn’t alter in any way shape or form and I always knew where to run when I needed that extra hug or an extra I love you.”

Will I make mistakes along this continued journey of parenthood, there is no doubt in my mind I will, however I do hope the mistakes are far less than the good things.  My angel babies I love each one of you more than I could ever express in this lifetime and I hope in years to come I have set such an example for you, you will be proud to say ” I want to be as wonderful a parent to my kids as my mom was to me” .  I can definitely look back and say that about your My-My.  Sometimes in life you may not like me very much but in the end when you look back you will see the things I did were always for your own good and I hope and pray your kids won’t like you in the same way, because you were looking out for them and their good.

I love you my sweet babies.


And I close this post with a song that I absolutely love, Greatest Love of All.  Because the children truly are our future, what are you teaching yours??

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Toni is a professional lifestyle blogger living on the sunny Florida Gulf Coast. She has a passion for Disney, Travel, Fashion, Cooking, Tech, Family Fun Ideas, Reviews, Giveaways and loves being able to share that with her readers!

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  1. 1
    Christie - The ChatterBox

    OMG, Toni, that was absolutely beautiful! I ponder this notion often…especially after me and my kids have “gotten into it.” I once asked my daughter if someone told her to tell them about her mom, what would she say…well it wasn’t pretty and it made me very conscious of my words and actions ever since. Thank you for sharing your inner angel with all of us!
    .-= Christie – The ChatterBox´s last blog ..Sunday Confessional: My Two-Year Old Has A Potty Mouth =-.

    • 2

      Aww thanks Christie 🙂 I am always so conscience about what would my kids tell others about me. Sometimes when I get angry I am like oh man they are going to have not so nice things to say about me and that breaks my heart in those moments LOL.

  2. 3

    Wow, Toni. You must have know this has been on my mind lately. A lot. I know I need to work on a lot of things and I care a great deal about the way my children see me. I am not even going to say I always set the best examples because I don’t. But I am learning each day. I know everything I do, I do in love. I also know that I need to work on the example I do set because it is so easy to forget they are always listening and watching. Thanks girl for the reminder! I needed it 🙂
    .-= 1stopmom´s last blog ..Happy MLK Day =-.

    • 4

      Girl I totally know how ya feel what ya think inspired this post LOL. Learning is the key and taking lessons from what we learn and implementing them into our lives. You rock you know 🙂

  3. 5

    This is a wonderful topic…. we all need to lead by example. Thanks for the reminder. I know I fall short often.
    .-= [email protected]´s last blog ..Tide Development Team =-.

    • 6

      Thanks for the sweet comment! I do agree we all need a reminder, usually I am the one that needs reminding LOL.

  4. 7

    Wow. I never thought that visiting your blog would bring me to tears. This is beautiful. I think about the example I’m setting for my children a lot. I don’t want them to be in fear of me. And sometimes I think they are. When I get frustrated or overwhelmed, I’m a not so nice mom. And that makes my children sad. So, sometimes they feel they have to walk on eggshells in the house as not to set mommy off. That is a sad reality that I have to face. I’ve definately been praying about this and working on my behavior so the kids will always feel comfortable. But the damage is done so I have to clean up the mess I’ve made. Thanks so much for the post. It is very inspiring.

    • 8

      Girl I was in tears writing it LOL. I feel the same way you mentioned sometimes and feel horrible when I get to the feeling. Usually it’s the end of the work week when I am very tired and irritable and I am trying to make fix that somehow.

  5. 9

    That was spot on. It is so hard to just be a parent, let alone a Godly parent who leads by example I’m sure there are days that my boys would not say I was the most sweetest and loving mother on the planet, but I hope I balance it out in the end. I love the idea of writing a letter to our children. Gonna have to work on one for my boys. 😉
    .-= Jenny 867-5309´s last blog ..It’s still coffee =-.

  6. 10

    Sweet and strong words. So lovely. I hope you print this one out and save it for your babies:)

  7. 11

    Your children are very lucky to have such a loving and caring mom!! This was a beautiful post. Train up a child in the way he should go… Blessings!

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