Why am I a horrible mom or in the term “worst mom ever and I wish you weren’t my mom” as said by my son this morning? Because I made him go to school. Something he has done the last 7 almost 8 years has me coined the worst mom ever. He found out his aunt’s were staying home today because one was sick and the other was staying home with her (yes I have sister’s my sons age) and I instantly became the bad guy.
It’s no different than the times I made him go every other day but because he thinks it’s unfair that they don’t have to go so it’s become the worst day ever. He was not very kind to me in the words he spoke. In fact he downright hurt my feelings and broke my heart. It’s so strange how a child knows just what to say that rips at your soul. I tried to explain to him that because I love him so much I make him go to school, that if I didn’t care about his future I would just let him do whatever he wanted. No love was seen by him and he was so bitter towards me it broke me. It broke me to the point of tears. Not in front of him but once I came home the tears fell and I actually felt like the worst mom ever.
It’s such a strange thing to feel like the worst mom ever when you are actually doing the best thing for your child. Maybe that’s what got me….that he was so angry at me even though I was doing what some children aren’t lucky enough to have their parents do…loving him and making him strive to have the best future possible. I hope one day, when he is through this stage of life, he can look back and say “You know I didn’t realize it but my mom loved me enough to push me, to make me do things I didn’t want to that were beneficial to me”. I hope that one day down the road he realized everything I do for him (as well as his siblings) is to make sure their lives are the best they can be.
Until then I will have to deal with the bitter and angry moments because no matter how they feel in that moment I know I am doing the best thing for him. Have you ever had to deal with your kids saying something that really hurt you to the core? How did you handle it?
Toni Patton
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Many times I hear out of my sons mouth, I hate you you stupid mommy. I look at him and say at least mommy still loves you and always will. Then I tell him I’m not stupid I got to marry your daddy and have 2kids that makes me a smart mommy. Sometimes he stomps off to his room because he doesn’t know what else to say. He is almost 7 and high functioning Autistic.
I’m so sorry Toni! Being a mom is one of the most rewarding jobs ever but can also be one of the most challenging. When he is older he will understand everything you did for him was out of love, it’s hard to see that now when they just don’t understand things.
I’d love to tell you he will thank you some day, but that doesn’t really help NOW does it. I swear kids know just what to say to get to us!
I am so sorry Toni. 🙁 I know my kids have said hurtful things to me. They do grow out of it though.
My stepson called me something I can’t repeat! Sorry for your bad morning!
My worst problem right now is that my kindergartener won’t tell me he loves me when he gets out of the car in the morning. I can’t wait until he is that age, lol.
Oh, big hugs!
Being a mommy is hard, hard work. Hopefully one day our children will realize the reason we do certain things is because we love them deeply.
I dread the day this happens. I think the only thing you can do is stick to your guns knowing you are his parent making the right choices for him, and the best choices for his future. Hopefully one day he will come back and tell you (probably after he has kids) how sorry he was. You know you are a great mom. I’m sorry he hurt you so bad. ((hugs))
My son hasn’t said it yet… but I know he probably will. He’s still to young I think. It’s such a tough job being a good mom, and I know you are a great mom, Toni. I’m also 100% sure that he will appreciate all you’ve done for him one day, and know that you did it all because you love him. He’ll respect you for it, too. 🙂
The joys of motherhood. I actually look back now and know my mom did the best for each situation. Yours will look back one day too and understand. Until then, stay strong! 🙂 Find joy in the moments when they do like you 😉
oh, yes. I lived through three teenaged girls and a son who thought he knew everything. One by one they have each come to me and apologized to me for how they treated me when they were growing up. When it happened the first time, it was like heaven rained down on me to hear the words. It took some longer in life than others to do but eventually all four of them did. I know yours will too. Rebelling is part of growing up, so remember, even though it hurts, it is helping them grow up.
I get called that too so keep your chin up. You are doing what’s best and he will thank you one day. And I explain to my daughter when she calms down how hurtful her words were. But I do not approach her until the end of the day so she has a chance to be over her anger.
Aww, hugs. My 4yo knows how to push my buttons, too.
My son has done this to me too. He didn’t mean it. (((hugs)))