ER Trip Woes: Never Again I Tell You

The back story. All was a normal day in the TPat household. Hubby returned from work and I say hello, quick kiss and goodbye as usual when I head to work. So along I travel my merry way and pull into Wal-Mart parking lot. As I am opening my door to get out and head in to my evening job, as a pharmacy technician, my iPhone rings. My hubs in a calm voice yet a weensy bit of edge for him…

*a little note about my man, when I say he is calm I mean look at me and see how I am then think complete opposite. Calm, more of a keep to himself person, not crazy, etc.*

says “Um, I think you need to come home, a rock shot out from the lawnmower and sliced my shin open” I pause half thinking that he is joking because he is so calm, alas he is not. So I call into work as I am shrieking out of the parking lot and give them the story and head home to get my hubs to the ER.

Wonder why these things never happen during regular doctor hours

So I get home, run in grab the kids while hubs limps out and we head to my grandma’s house to drop the kids off. No way in heavens am I taking them to the ER. Then we get to the ER, this is about 6:15. We fill our our paperwork, okay so he fills it out there was no we involved in this. And then we wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait. I think you get my drift.

About 7:30 or 8ish he is a bit light headed so with the $1.25 I have in my sad little wallet (meaning I have maybe 18 cents left now to my name) I grab a Coca-Cola Classic to give to him.

*Random moment~ Nothing can ever ever replace a Coca-Cola Classic. Remember when they came out with the New coke and it sucked so they brought the old coke back and it became coca cola classic! My hubs tries to convince me that Coke Zero tastes the same as Classic and tried to trick me once and his experiment failed him miserably . Hi I am Toni and You can never trick me when Coca-Cola Classic is involved! Nothing is the same.

So he drinks his cola and feels better then I notice my tummy is rumbling and it is now about 8:30 which is when I am usually done eating dinner. I have not eaten since 12:00 pm today and I am going to die is what I am thinking (hey never said I was not dramatic). So what is all around us within view of the ER waiting room about every fast food place you can think of. One of which really catches my eye….Subway (Eat Fresh, Heck right now it could be Eat Old and I would still be happy). I can’t leave because I want to be sure to go back with him so I scrounge in my purse and find a banana laffy taffy. I love laffy taffy but banana is my least favorite, however last night it tasted like pure heaven to my tummy.

Then we wait and wait some more. Finally after 4 hours of being in the waiting room they get us back, at this moment I was so excited you would have thought I had just won the lottery. Well technically I guess we did, the waiting room lottery! So we go back into our fridge temp room and I am shaking like a leaf so the lovely nurse got me a blanket and then my aunt (who had my kids) calls to tell me she is in the waiting room with some enchilada’s for us. I almost fell to the ground weeping from joy over this. I scarfed my food down in record time and then the doctor came in.

This is the moment I had been waiting for because I am a sick sick person. I was waiting for that shot they give that hurts the hell out of you to numb you. I had already informed the hubs that this was what he got for all the times he aggravated me, I get to watch him wrythe in pain…told you I was sick. Okay so I really didn’t act like that but I did want to see his reaction just because I always think those people are faking it on Trauma: Life In the ER. Shot given and not one flinch and when I asked him how bad it hurt he said it was terrible.

Um what? So I asked “Well then how come you kept your face still” and you want to know his answer….”Because I am a stud” Totally NOT kidding here folks, that phrase came out of my husbands mouth. Reluctantly I agreed, even though deep inside I really do think he is a stud, I can’t allow him to get a big head you know. Finally doctor came in and stitched him up and we made it home at 11:30.

The visit would not have been so bad if they had magazines or American Idol on but I was doomed to have to sit through Zathura and Family Man so I was annoyed and bored. So that ladies and gentlemen was the night of TPAT last night. Fun for someone else, not so much for me. If I never see the inside of that ER again it will be too soon.

Now you go, tell me your ER horror stories or go ahead and throw it in my face about your great visit to the ER. I promise not to hate you too long. Tell away my friends.