A Daily Dose of Comedy: Momisms

Photo from CathyHamilton.com

Hey girls and guys! So my friend Debbie, sent me this book titled Momisms and I have been cracking up reading it. It is written by Cathy Hamilton. I highly suggest going out and buying this cute book.

Basically the whole book is full of phrases moms use and give the hidden (or not so hidden meaning) behind them. I thought for an end of the week laugh I would share some of these momisms and lets see if any of you use these:

“Don’t use that tone of voice with me, young lady(man)”
~This ism stems from every mom’s firm belief that she is the only one in the household entitled to use an authoritative tone of voice. The privilege of “tone” is not afforded even to husbands, let alone children. it is “tone” that gives Mom her power. It is exclusively hers. To lose tone would be to lose everything.

“Just use your own judgment. I trust you.”
~Pronounced with all the conviction a mom can muster before she leaves the kids alone in the house for the evening or, God forbid, a weekend, this statement is a preemptive strike meant to impose guilt before anything bad actually happens.
*it rarely works*

“Is that what you’re going to wear?”
~Used indiscriminately for sons, daughters, and husbands, this one is a not so subtle attempt to make family members rethink their wardrobe choice.
Translation: I wouldn’t be caught dead in that outfit and neither should you.

“Put that down-you don’t know where it’s been!”
~Referring mainly to objects found on the ground in public places-things like coins, candy, half eaten sandwiches (eww, I would say you need to feed your children more if they are scrounging for food) and used chewing gum- this ism reflects every mom’s pathological fear of germs.

“They’re just jealous, that’s all”
~A time honored but weak attempt to comfort a child who has been treated cruelly by his or her peers. This ism is often uttered through clenched teeth as Mom plans the untimely, slow, and painful death of her kid’s tormenters.

“What did I just say?”
The child interprets this as a challenge over whetehr or not they are paying attention. But in most cases, the actual translation is “I’m not testing your hearing, I have actually forgotten what I just said and I’m hoping you can tell me”

“Don’t forget your rubbers!”
~In the fifties, this popular momism was a blunt, and often embarrassing, reminder for children to wear their galoshes (boots) in inclement weather. In those days, all moms believed that wet feet were the leading cause of colds, influenza, mumps, polio, mono and most terminal diseases.
*Today, the phrase has taken on a whole new meaning and is usually uttered by moms, under their breath when their sons leave for college (or out on their first date)