When You Don’t Know The Why

questionYou don’t always get an answer for why things happen. That is what makes going through some things almost unbearable. I am a christian, I know God has a plan. I know there is a reason for everything even if I, personally, don’t know that reason.

Last night I sat in the ER with my husband, as he battled a migraine, after finding out someone who I was very close to growing up died. While sitting all I could think about was why did this have to happen. Mikie and I grew up together and were very close. Hanging out together, protecting one another, essentially being what brothers and sisters are to each other even though we weren’t “officially” brother and sister.

As the years passed we both got married and had children, 3 each. His path was a bit more bumpy than mine and he ended up raising those kids on his own (with the help of Libby, who is like a 2nd mom to me). His kids were everything to him and his life was living proof of that. He had just been through a tough time but had pushed through, thanking God, and was ready to keep going down the path God had for him. When my mom called and told me, last night, that he was killed when someone hit him on his motorcycle, the first question I had for God was why.

Why, when he has 3 small children that he was solely responsible for?
Why, when he was so young and had such a promising life ahead of him?
Why, why, why, why?

I’ve cried and cried all night and asked over and over again why. There is a why, but I just don’t know that why. I can sit back and get angry that this happened or I can sit back, not understand of course, and know that there is a reason…one that’s much bigger than me. One, that truly, God only knows. In every situation, whether I understand it or not, there is a why. This is probably going to be one of those I will never understand and instead will just have to trust God to keep His hand over the entire situation. To pray that he comforts everyone who is hurting right now over this loss.

I’ll never truly understand but I will keep walking and trusting. I am so glad I have a patient God who lets me scream, get angry, not understand and is so patient with me while I go through the motions. It’s not for me to know why, but it’s for me to keep trusting that the plan he has is greater than this or whatever else we go through.

Mikie will be missed and I am so sad I won’t have years to spend with him on this earth. ย I know one day I will see him again when we meet in heaven and until then, this why, is one I just have to trust God on.

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Hi! I'm Toni. I am a happily married, christian, momma of 3 living on Florida's sunny Gulf Coast. I am a lifestyle blogger and Seint Arist. I started blogging when my last child was born as a way to share my love of all things travel, cooking, beauty, recipes, and more. Now pull up a chair, grab a glass of sweet tea and let's get to know each other. I truly hope you enjoy getting A Daily Dose of Toni!


  1. 1


    I am so sorry for you loss. I truly feel what you are going through. If it helps to know, I am praying for your family and his….Big Hugs.

  2. 2

    I am so sorry for your loss, Toni. ๐Ÿ™

  3. 3

    I’m so sorry for your loss Toni. I visited Mikie’s facebook page last night and I could tell he was a great guy, willing to be there for his friends. (((Big hugs)))

  4. 4

    I am so sorry Toni. ๐Ÿ™

  5. 5

    I’m so sorry Toni.. hugs to you.

  6. 6

    Lately I feel like there is so much loss, and I don’t understand it. I’m so sorry for your loss ๐Ÿ™

  7. 7

    I am so sorry Toni! I am praying that God gives you Peace and comfort during this difficult time. ((HUGS))

  8. 8

    I am sorry for your loss. I have thought the same thing after the loss of my first baby, after the death of my dad and after the death of the boy’s dad. It is hard to understand the why, but we have to have faith that God has his reasons for everything in life.

  9. 9

    I am so sorry, and my prayers are with those children.

  10. 10

    I am so sorry for your loss.

  11. 11

    I am sorry for your loss.

  12. 12

    Toni I’m so sorry for your loss. The not knowing why is always the hardest no matter what/how the situation happens. I’m really sorry for the loss and your family and his are in my heart/thoughts/prayers that everyone heals quickly and keeps passing on those wonderful memories. (((hugs)))

  13. 13

    some times we never get answers for such questions but we need to think about what a blessing those people were to our lives and how they made it that much richer. You are better too f known your friend and had him for the time you were blessed. May the lord watch over his children and help and guide them through life. So sad