When A Friends Hurting, Sometimes You Just Feel Helpless..

friendshipI hate feeling helpless when it comes to my friends. When they are in need I want to help. When they are searching for something I want to help look. When they are hurting I want to comfort them.

Let me give a little backstory, I have had one of my best friends for 18 years. He and I met when I was 14 and have been best friends over the years. From him moving to North Carolina and back. Me moving to Texas and Arkansas. We have always been there for each other even if time and distance took a toll here and there. Every time I came down to visit before I moved back I would see him. Time didn’t matter he was my best friend and I knew it.

When I moved back for one reason or another we had not see each other at all (I moved back to Florida August 2010) and spoke not as often. We would facebook each other here and there but that was it really. I didn’t know why it was that way and I was hurt, I was losing my best friend and it killed me. I cried, I got angry, I was confused. Regardless he was my best friend and I would fight til my dying day to keep that friendship. I was happy when he was happy, sad when he was sad, grateful that he has a wonderful girl in his life to love him. I just didn’t know why in the world we drifted.

A few days ago I saw a message on his facebook page that his grandmother passed away and my heart dropped. Being so close to him for so many years I knew exactly how hard this would hit him. I knew just how much his grandmother meant to him. I knew at that moment I didn’t care about talking or not talking for however long I just cared that he was hurting. I knew I wanted to be there for him. I didn’t have a second thought about it.

Today I went to be there for my best friend of 18 years, as he laid his grandmother to rest. I hate that it took this loss in his life to bring us together. I hate that I feel helpless and felt like I should be doing something more than just showing up. I hope he knows if I could take away the pain I would. I held it together and didn’t shed a tear while my husband and I were there to support my best friend in his loss. I knew I had to be strong for him, he has been strong for me through so many things it was my turn.

As we left the funeral and I let him know there was not a second thought in my mind about being there, I would not have been anywhere else. I sat with my husband at Ruby Tuesday and it hit me. I broke down into tears and just started crying, I was feeling the pain I saw in my best friends face. The pain I didn’t let hit me as I hugged him.  I wondered why I hadn’t at the funeral then realized God gave me strength to hold it together so I could offer even a little bit of comfort. I still don’t feel I did enough or said enough today but I hope the simple act of hugging him, telling him I am there if he needs anything and that I loved him helped at the very least in a small way.

Please say a prayer for my friend and his family that God will comfort them in the coming days as they deal with this loss.  I hate feeling helpless and in a situation when someone you care so much about is hurting so deeply I don’t know if it’s ever possible to feel like you have truly done enough.

The following two tabs change content below.
Hi! I'm Toni. I am a happily married, christian, momma of 3 living on Florida's sunny Gulf Coast. I am a lifestyle blogger and Seint Arist. I started blogging when my last child was born as a way to share my love of all things travel, cooking, beauty, recipes, and more. Now pull up a chair, grab a glass of sweet tea and let's get to know each other. I truly hope you enjoy getting A Daily Dose of Toni!


  1. 1

    I’ve been here before. ITs so hard because I felt like I wanted to talk on and on and tell them it will be okay and pray and everything. But I found that just being there was enough. That’s true friendship!