Yesterday I started watching my cousins little baby. He will be a year this month and let me tell you what, I am still exhausted today but I would not trade it for anything. I will start watching him from now until the time she graduates. He is a tiny little thing too.
It makes me miss when mine were that small and at the same time be happy they are past the age that you have to watch them every second *although with my trouble makers I pretty much have to watch them every minute*.
Today I should be getting caught up with all the laundry and cleaning I have to do but really all I want to do is sleep. Being exhausted from yesterday and continually waking up at 3:45 a.m. is killing me. If anyone knows of anything good I could do to work this situation out (the waking up and not being able to go back to sleep) I would be eternally grateful!
I have my gym membership that I really need to use and yet it sits stagnant, I am paying for something I don’t use, and can’t get out of until my contract expires. The logic behind paying for a gym membership and never using it..maybe the membership alone will make me skinny. Okay I know it won’t and I know I will feel much better if I go to the gym but I just can’t get the motivation to load the kids up and go…someone scream at me. And the 2 slices of caramel pie I just ate are of no help in the I am trying to get weight off category.
I have many weaknesses, one of which is not standing up for myself when I should. I am one of those people who will stick by someone even when they treat me badly because I feel like I can fix them and then when they inevitably hurt me or treat me badly I don’t stand up for myself like I should, I tend to brush things under the rug. I don’t want my kids to inherit that from me.
I also realized that even though I don’t stand up for myself all the time I do when it is really important so maybe that will account for something. I do make sure I discontinue relationships with people that are not good for my life or not a good example for my children to follow. I figure my kids and blank slates they need to have wonderful people in their life and good examples because they learn from what they watch.
I can’t stand hypocritical people, they piss me off more than anything in the world. I can’t stand when people are one way too your face and a completely different way behind your back. I despise people who think everything is always about them and they have to always try to outdo everyone, get a life actually just try living yours instead of someone elses.
I look at my kids and realize I always have to be bettering myself for them, so they can see that no matter what life threw at me I was always working on improving myself. That when they look at me they can see when you hold true to your values in the end everything will be okay. The truth always comes into the light so when lies are spewed to know that as long as they were honest they will come out on top. I look at them and realize that because they are with me 90% of the time I am the example they have to follow. So everyday I ask myself is this something I would be upset if my children did, or how will this decision affect my children. It’s what keeps me on the straight and narrow.
I am trying to get back to reading my Bible daily and it isn’t as easy as it used to be. I will sit down to read it or do a devotion and 50 things pop into my head that I have to do right then. I know why that happens but I just hope it gets easier to turn it off.
Well that is my randomness for today. What are some random thoughts running through your head today?
Toni Patton
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I know what you mean about hipocritical people. They drive me crazy. i don’t understand the point of it.