That song by Natalie Grant is really one that describes me .  I often wonder how many people out there know the real me?  The one who  feels like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders.  The one whose life isn’t perfect, who is frail behind the strength you see.  Do you know all of me or only the parts you see here?  Do you take the time to get to know the “me” behind the smile?  Do you know that daily I cry or do you think I am always as happy as you see me?
Am I happy, over all yes, but I have so many worries, stresses and fears. Â I shed tears daily and I often wonder who cares to know the real me? Â The one who has cares, the one who has worries, the one who feels like she has no value, nothing to contribute to the world some days. Â There are days I just want to throw in the towel and say I give up, but I can’t. Â I have to plaster the smile on my face despite what is going on. Â I have to act like it’s okay because if I don’t I think others will feel like they aren’t able to make me happy and that’s not true. Â I feel like I have to be strong all the time for my children’s sake.
If I let people see me when I am weak will they think different of me? Â If I can’t be happy and strong everyday will someone take advantage of that weakness? Â Is it wrong to admit that sometimes having faith is the hardest thing ever? Â Or that I worry I will never be everything God has called me to be? Â Is it okay to say you know you are on the right path but still feel so lost sometimes.
Do you know the girl who hates her body? Â The one who finds every flaw, who frets over the pounds she gains. Â The one who doesn’t see the beauty. Â The one who won’t leave the house because she looks fat in her clothes. Â This girl who is so insecure in her appearance she is always comparing herself to others.
Who is the real me? Â The real me is someone who is:
- Strong
- Frail
- Weak
- Firm
- Understanding
- Fun
- Smiling
- Crying
- Laughing
- Scared
- Worried
- and so much more. Â The real me is not the person you see on here all the time but have you taken the time to get to know the real me or do you just know only the person you see here? Â Yes this is the real me but there is so much more to who I am…do I know the real you? I would love to!
Toni Patton
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Toni…I see someone who loves her family dearly and will do anything needed to make the best life for them!
It is hard to be strong all the time, but I know I have to for my daughter. I had a day yesterday where I just wanted to WALK away from it all… but I can’t because of her.
I took a leap of faith last year when I retired and like you moved back home. It has not been easy, sometimes I felt like I made a mistake, but things are coming around. It is hard for me to share my concerns, feelings of inadequacy, etc to my family, and that is why I don’t blog about them often – I feel like I would be exposed!
Hugs!
Wonderful post and so heartfelt. I understand what you are saying and somewhat understand how you feel as I have felt that way at different stages in my life. It takes a strong woman to admit she has weaknesses. Know that you are most definitely not alone and I am happy to know you better 🙂 thank you for allowing me that opportunity!
Again, with the videos! I have no SOUND dammit!! I might HAVE to get that netbook from you after all. lol
First things first, after reading that, I love you.
Saying I love you can be so hard, yet so easy for some, but we rarely say it to the friends we care about the most. Our lives are so different, yet so similar.
I cry too.
I’m insecure too.
I hate my body.
I call myself fat, inside my head, every day.
I think I’m ugly.
I cry too (wait, I already said that).
Sometimes, I think, do I REALLY have Faith or am I hanging on to an ounce of belief I thought I had 2 years ago?
Oh, I Love You.
You are one of those precious people who have come into my life, one of those people who I feel so close to, that I hate I’m so far from. We’re both busy Mommas and, often, I know I’m not around, but I’ll try harder to.
I Love You.
(Can we password protect my comment? It’s like one of those loser novel-long comments that people leave who don’t have anything else to do.)
Oh, did I mention my self esteem sucks? I even nit pick at my comments. Can we say weirdo?!
I love you.
Great post Toni.