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Let Me Reintroduce Myself

Hi All! It’s been a minute since I last posted here (okay over a year, to be exact) so I thought it time to reintroduce myself. I went back and forth on whether I should say simply say introduce or add the RE before. It honestly feels like I am starting all over again, so I kind of think of it as an introduction. At the same time, my site remained (with all the original content, no matter how inactive I was on it) so it made saying introduce as if you are all meeting me for the first time, feel a little unauthentic…so I decided to go with re-introduce as the verb of the day!

For those of you who are new to the site…Hi, I’m Toni and I used to post daily…hence the title “A Daily Dose of Toni”.  As life got busy, I didn’t post daily and I can’t promise I will post daily now…I also can’t promise I won’t post multiple times daily, the mood of the day or week will determine that. What I can tell you is that if you came here looking for a super professional blog that has no grammatical errors and uses proper punctuation all the time (let’s be honest I am no English major so I count it lucky if I get through one post with all the proper punctuation and grammar…and it’s not gonna be this post for sure)…well, then you have come to the wrong place. I am here to bring you into my life, as much as one can on the interwebs…and whatever that entails is to be seen. I hope to get back to sharing things I love (books, places, food, margaritas, baking, beach pics, margaritas, our family fun, did I mention margaritas) along with the REALEST of real and rawest of moments.

So, let’s just jump right in…

If this is your first time stopping by there is something you should know about me, I have always been a person who needs to be happy ALL THE TIME. I don’t like feeling sad, angry, hurt…basically anything negative, so when you see me, I’m usually smiling. However, over the last 1.5 years, I have realized no one is happy all the time and no one expects me to be that way. I sometimes wonder if it didn’t freak people out a little bit, me being happy the majority of the time…always being “fine”.

Anyhoo, I am getting sidetracked, so back to my story…my world got turned upside down in July 2020 when my very best friend (my mom) died. It crushed me and I felt like I was drowning.  I had lived so long in my happy bubble (I had disappointments, but it was easier for me to brush them off than deal with the unhappy feelings, because to my point above…I was always happy) that when I had this huge life-altering thing happen, that you can’t just brush away, I wasn’t quite sure how to move forward.  I tried to bury the pain because it went against all my “happy all the time” vibe, but burying it just paused the inevitable. I had to feel to start to heal, whatever that was going to look like, but I didn’t want to feel so I put on a smile and kept busy with anything that would not allow me to feel the anguish. I kind of started living “little”, not doing things I loved (like this blog, for instance) instead of just keeping busy with whatever didn’t remind me of my mom (this blog did, you’ll see why in the next paragraph). As time passed, I realized would not be able to go through my life without dealing with the pain of this loss, so it’s been a year of learning how to feel emotions that are uncomfortable for me. I’ll be honest…it’s not fun, but it’s necessary.

As I let myself feel, to heal, I remembered how my mom lived…she lived life SO BIG and I knew that’s what she would want me to keep doing. To keep doing what I loved, to live big, and this blog was something I loved for so long. One thing my mom was always so proud and loved to brag about was this blog…in fact, she accompanied me on many trips that were for this very site. So, I decided it was time…time to start over (with the old content still in place, of course) and get the blog up and running again. I, still, am unsure what the return means and what it will look like in the future, but for now, we start with a reintroduction. Yeah, sorry this is a little all over the place…it’s been a minute, so just go with it.

Now that you have that bit of back story that covers my hiatus, let’s finish out the reintroduction post by introducing the people I love most. We shall start with the kids (who probably haven’t been posted about in at least 3 years..and they aren’t kids anymore). These cute little faces (this was more than 3 years ago, obviously):

have turned into these handsome young men and this stunning young lady:

UM HELLO TIME…could you please just stop! Let’s pause for all parents around the world to take a moment of silence, for the years that flew by right before our eyes. I mean was I even awake all those years. It seemed like they went from babies to almost fully grown and I missed it. Okay, I know I didn’t miss it because I remember the moments of laughter, the times I wanted to pull my hair out, and everything in between…but it seems like it happened so very fast. Why, now that I am an adult, does time seem to be speeding up and when I was a teen it seemed like it took a million years to get through on calendar year?

Anyhoo, back to the kids, my oldest is essentially grown (he’s 23) and he is in college trying to nail down exactly what he wants to do. My middle (known as the younger dude) is technically an adult at 18 and will be graduating high school this May. The baby girl is 16 and you didn’t have to tell her twice to get her license! She is a junior in high school and a college freshman at the same time (thanks to our local college offering dual enrollment). She is super involved in cheer, flag football, and the national honor society.  I love them with my whole being, even when they drive me a little bit crazy. Goodness, though, 23, 18, and 16 years old just can’t be right..can it?

I, of course, can’t do a reintroduction post without showcasing the man who has truly been my rock for the last 19 years and even more so since my mom passed. Say hello to the one I deem “My Sexy Beast”…my husband:

There have been some highs and some lows, but even in the lows, I could not imagine doing this life without him. He has been the person who has picked me up out of the shower when I was sobbing, cradled me in his arms when I had no strength to move, I could go on and on how much he has helped me get through this last 1.5 years. My anxiety, after my mom died, had gotten so debilitating, I could barely function some days. I know that can’t be easy when added to the stresses of his everyday life of work and being a dad and taking care of our family. God blessed me with this wonderful man and while every moment hasn’t been perfect (and if you can show me a marriage that is perfect every single day….you should go buy a lottery ticket) he is absolutely the perfect man for me. He was truly the man I prayed for, my entire life and I am so grateful God gave him to me and our children. I tell him so many times, each day, how much I love him and how wonderful he is and still I feel like I could say it more and it never be enough.

Well, I guess I will just leave it at that…for now. This was not one of those short and sweet intro posts…but I hope you stuck with me and hope y’all have a very blessed day!

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Toni is a professional lifestyle blogger living on the sunny Florida Gulf Coast. She has a passion for Disney, Travel, Fashion, Cooking, Tech, Family Fun Ideas, Reviews, Giveaways and loves being able to share that with her readers!

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Comments

  1. 1

    Hey Toni! It’s so nice to have you back! ???

    • 2

      Thank you!!! It’s good to be back, whatever that looks like in the long run is to be seen, but oh how nice it feels to just type out the thoughts again 🙂

  2. 3

    I, too, have really missed blogging. It’s just that life changed so abruptly for me and free time was gone. Finding it hard to find the words to write for my comeback. I just want to write for the joy of it, ya know? I miss the old days of just reading about other bloggers daily lives. The good ole days! Now I can reconnect with one of my OGs! Welcome Back!

    • 4

      Yes, I totally get that! I want to write for the joy of it, what all that entails is to be seen. But I am super excited to start. It may take some time to get my groove back, but I’m here and that’s a start. I will be on the lookout for your comeback! I miss you, friend!!! I think you need to take a trip to the beach!

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