Obviously not today, my oldest is 12 so soon we will be having the dreaded discussions. I am lucky in the fact my boys are a bit on the immature side so I have been able to avoid some talk (minus the changes and all that jazz) thus far. My oldest will be 13 in exactly six months from tomorrow so the time is fast approaching that I am (or preferably my husband) will have to go into more detail about hormone issues outside of the body changes. It terrifies me because I have to face the fact my kids are, in fact, growing up.
Yes, yes I am one of those moms who holds on to the innocence as long as I can. Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny still live for all of them for goodness sakes. As I sat here today, I realized I might be holding myself in my own little delusional bubble and I am going to have to pop it sooner rather than later. I don’t want my kids to end up in the same situations I did and if that means grossing them out for a bit with some non-graphic details of my first time so be it.
I was much too young, at 15, to lose my virginity but it happened in a backyard, in a tent no less…..romantic I know. It wasn’t the most horrible thing that happened to me in life, so please don’t think that. I just want my kids to desire more for themselves when it comes to giving such a priceless gift to another. I want them to want more than a romantic rendezvous in a tent, in a backyard. If that means sharing my situation of giving of myself and whatever other examples, in a tactful way, so be it. I would rather be the example used than them be the example for themselves and do something that they can’t take back.
I am not a prude at all and I think S E X is a very beautiful thing, when it’s with the right person. I thought I was in love, of course, when it happened so that is why I can look back with little regrets (other than I didn’t save myself completely for my husband). I, however, want them to not look back at all. I want them to look forward and know that holding off is okay, that not listening to those screaming teen hormones is worth more than giving into them. That if you find the one you are going to marry in high school that’s wonderful but wait, don’t short yourself, experience life with no strings. Because with sex there are strings, even if they aren’t obvious.
The dreaded S talk is right around the corner and I will be using myself as an example because I want more for my kids than a tent. I want love, a life with no regrets and wholeness for them because if they are anything like me and they give themselves away to someone other than the person they marry they will have some emotional repairs (big or small) to do. It’s an emotional thing for me and considering they have my DNA I am assuming some of that got passed along. I want them to focus on the important things in life and while they are growing up and becoming the person they are going to be that’s what they need to focus on, not high school love and hormones.
I lost my virginity in a tent and I’m going to tell my kids about it, because I love them enough to want more for them than I had for myself. Have you had to had the S talk with your kids yet? How did you not freak out, because it seriously creeps the bejeebers out of me!
Toni Patton
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I’m letting Daddy handle the sex talk since I have boys. I won’t avoid it but the nitty gritty talk will be his.
That was a wonderful post, Toni. Honesty is always the best policy. We can’t teach honesty to our children if we aren’t honest ourselves.
Yes, the dreaded sex talk happened with my oldest when he was fairly young. I can’t say it made him wait for marriage, but I know he was responsible when he decided to have sex. The other three kids haven’t asked so I haven’t told them anything, lol.
My daughter is almost 9. I still have a few years before the talk.
I’m going through the same thing right now 🙁 A distant cousin of my girls (boy 14) came to visit for spring break. He to a “liking” to my 12 year old :/ Then, he tried to convince her that they really weren’t related…. Making it OK for her to accept his advances. I can only thank God that I have raised my kids to think for themselves, but what happens next time? I want her to have the love that her dad and I have, not some fast fleeting romance in the front seat of a Chevy Silverado. When you figure out what to tell you son, can you give me the clifnote version? Pretty Please.
No , I haven’t and am not looking forward to it!
My sons are too little, but I wouldn’t tell them where I lost my virginity, lol…I’ll let my husband handle that talk!
Ugh. I’m not looking forward to that one. I got “the talk” way too young at age 9 when my unwed cousin became pregnant. Here’s hoping we can wait longer for our kids. Thankfully, Hubs and I were both virgins on our wedding night so I hope they follow our example.
My oldest will be 8 in June and I know that she’s heard the word sex thanks to older kids at school and of course, TV. I hope I have awhile before I have to go into detail, but I know the body change chat will be happening soon.
My child is way young for this, but I don’t fear this conversation. I will just ask my children to respect themselves to know that they need to be protected, both physically and mentally. I won’t tell them where I lost my virginity though.