So as per the usual school day mornings, we are rushing around getting everyone ready. Surprisingly even though I woke the kids up a little later and they had to leave earlier things are going somewhat smooth. Cue turning off Spongebob so they actually finish getting ready. When Spongebob is on I lose every ounce of focus they have in the mornings and some mornings I pray for any focus LOL.
Here I am so proud, we have them all dressed WITH shoes on, breakfast served and eaten. Lunches packed, backpacks full, we are doing great this may become the new standard to which we hold ourselves. It’s 6:57 and we have to be out the door at 6:58. As two of the kids are happily (or as happily as you can be leaving at that time) out the door. I hear a slam, a bang and a scream followed by an anguished but slightly angry cry. What in the would could have happened in this one minute I ask myself.
Was it homework that forgot to be done?
A project you had weeks to tell us about and never did?
A child who has slammed their shin into the door frame or some piece of furniture?
The catastrophe that caused this reaction had to be huge, because the anger could be felt through the slamming, throwing and scream. Tears streaming down his face and looking like he is ready to punch someone really hard, we ask him what happened, what is going on? Twice! Finally the third time dad has to take the answer me now tone. I mean I know kids don’t like to answer questions but when you have a moment of breakdown like this you need to answer. Finally in between sobs he says and I quote….
“I can’t get my hair to go down, that piece in the back won’t go down!“
I pause for a moment to let my heart stop racing and gather my thoughts. Did one piece of hair really just cause the atomic breakdown this morning. So, as any good mom would do I walk over, lick my hand and get that piece of hair to go down. That’s that right??? No. Another bit of a fit is thrown about how his hair isn’t down it always sticks up followed by…
“I hate my life, I wish I were dead!“
Okay now you are just saying things to say them and this is silly. No I don’t say that to him but it did cross my mind. Ready to end his life over a piece of hair. Needless to say dad will be cutting it tonight, as it has obviously become too long and I for one do not want to deal with another moment like that. I sure hope this tween thing gets easier because my heart isn’t just cut out for things like that. I know it’s part hormonal (or I hope) because it’s not a regular occurrence but man a breakdown for that reason is one for the books.
I love my kids, breakdowns over silly things or not, they are my life and they keep me on my toes. Learning something new everyday. I just hope it gets a little easier as they get out of the hormonal changes and breakdowns.
When will that be by the way?
*Oh and no that is not his hair now that you see in the picture, it’s buzz cut LOL. Just wanted to disclose that is an old picture but the attitude in the shot fit the post!*
Toni Patton
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Awe. Poor thing. I almost cried reading this because my 7 (Yes, SEVEN) yr-old daughter has had a wave of emotional breakdowns lately and it’s killing me. I sit and pray with her. I try to make her laugh. I turn on music. I tickle. She … just hurts me sometimes with how she acts. I know once she’s a tween, it’ll be so hard for me as it is for you, but we can pray for each other and we WILL get through this.
In fact, we’ll laugh at this when we’re 40 and on a cruise ship together, basking in the sun. 🙂
I know I pray and pray and pray. We will definitely get through these years.
I am SOOOO there with you!! My 10 yr son had an all-out panic attack the other morning because his hair was TOO closely resembling Justion Bieber’s. . .really?! I did my best to calm him down and tried to comb it another way and applied lots of hair spray to make it stay. I miss the days he had a buzz cut, things were easier (at least for me) then. 🙂
LOL I think maybe it’s because they are really coming into their identity and looks and this really is a hard time. For both them and parents alike.
I wonder if someone at school said something to him about his hair? I know that one of my daughter’s male friends got a haircut recently, and had a lot of kids tell him he looks ugly now. Kids at this stage can be so flippin’ mean. Her boyfriend just got his shoulder-length hair cut very short, and his mom said he was worried about getting a reaction like that. I know that middle school is an especially difficult time for girls, but it’s no cakewalk for boys, either. I need to keep that in mind for when my boys get older. I keep thinking their tween years will be easier than my daughter’s.
Yeah I definitely don’t think boys are easier in the tween year dept. I will get back to you on that though when my daughter hits that milestone.
As much as it may seem like a comment that means nothing but childhood trials and tribulations, hating one’s life and say that he wishes he was dead is something to take seriously and explore if there is anything else going on that he has not shared. It may not really be about hair.
If it were me, I would not ignore this call for help. Question what else might be going on. Talk to his teachers regarding classroom behavior with others. Maybe even on the playground. I would not say he said he wishes he was dead, but I would certainly find out if there is something going on that you do not know about.
I could tell you of a story of a sweet little girl who stated this in 6th grade and the story goes…..
Oh I take it seriously, please don’t think otherwise. He has used this in the past when I wouldn’t let him get his way and I did explore EVERY angle to make sure there was nothing “behind the scenes” . I talked to teachers, and others I thought might have seen something I hadn’t and he is fine at school and his behavior has been great. I do appreciate your concern though to make sure I am looking at it from all sides, that is very kind of you 🙂
WOW!! Have not had that experience in a few years!! Very glad my tween could careless about her hair and make up and all that other junk….YET. I know it will eventually come, but right now it’s a good thing!! It all depends on the kid too…my 16 yo had his moody moments, but it has gotten A LOT better!! I promise it does!! I think the 7 yo is my drama queen extraordinaire!!
That’s the reality of our kids entering the tween or teenager stage. I think on my part, it was one of the hardest phase of our family life. When my kids entered that stage, we always fight a lot because I don’t know what’s going on in their minds; and their mood swings are ever changeable. But I’m so glad we hurdled it all as a family. I guess they’re having identity crisis and trying to fit in at school and with their friends.:-)