Growing Fruitful Friendships and When To Let Go

Joyce Meyer said it best “I’d rather have God as my only friend that have a lot of “friends” who aren’t real friends and people who try to control me and make me into what they want. Love me for who I am not who you want me to be.

Being a friend means being a friend at all times during that friendship. Of course, not all friendships are meant to last throughout entire lives. It’s something that is sad to think about and even more difficult for me, personally, to go through. I’ll admit I am an all in kind of friend. When I call someone my friend, I pour into them, I am there for them; I do for them as I can like I said I’m all in. Of course, that gets to be draining when it’s you doing all the pouring, and no one is pouring into you.
Through my life, so far, I’ve had a best friend who is my anytime and forever friend, you know the ones you’ve been best friends with forever, and they are there for you just as much as you are there for them. The people you know you can call and if it’s in their power they will be there for whatever you need at the drop of a hat. The ones who take the time for you, just as much as you take the time for them. The people who pour into your life just as equally as you do them. My anytime friend is my best friend, and I appreciate them so much.

What I’ve always learned is that I want people (not saying we have to be besties and share every moment with each other like I do with my anytime friend) as friends, who are friends to me at all times. Not just when it’s convenient to their lives. Friendship isn’t about convenience; it’s about pouring into each other equally. If I am (or you are) the one always pouring into a friendship, it’s time to re-evaluate that friendship. Sure there will be times when I pour into someone more or vice versa, but it shouldn’t constantly be one-sided, and that’s how I’ve felt with some of the “friendships” I’ve had in life.

It’s made me realize that if someone doesn’t love you for who you are or if you are constantly the one to give with no reciprocation, then it might be time to re-evaluate that friendship. Some of our friends are for life, and some are just for a season. Some of them are in life as blessings, and some of them are in life as lessons. I always mourn when a friendship seems to be going away, but I have to trust God has a reason for both that person and me. I am thankful for each friend I have in my life, and I hope you feel the same about me.

Growing fruitful friendships isn’t always easy, but it’s rewarding. It takes work, but not just from one person, from both people. Kind of like a marriage.

Tips for Growing Fruitful Friendships

  • Build meaningful connections. We have to be wise about who we let into our lives, because for a friendship to flourish there has to be a meaningful relationship between the two people.
  • Make time for each other. Both of you need to call the other to extend an invitation. If one person is constantly inviting the other, it’s very telling.
  • Let go of the guilt. It’s okay not to be a perfect friend all the time, but if you hold onto the guilt, you will withdraw due to feeling bad.
  • Shut your mouth. Sometimes all our friends need is for us to sit quietly and listen. They will let you know when they want advice, but sometimes we just have to shut our mouths and let them talk. It’s hard in this “all about me” world we live it, but the bond it creates when we take the time to just listen to our friends is priceless. Kind of like the bond it creates between God and us when he listens to us!
  • Unconditional love and acceptance. We have to love and accept those we say are friends without conditions, for exactly who they are. Not what we want them to be.
  • Know when to let go. Sometimes a friendship has run it’s course and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean that it wasn’t real, it just means it was for a season.

I hope that you are blessed to have fruitful friendships in your life. Whether it’s 1 or 100, fruitful friendships are a way that we will not only learn more about the person but also ourselves. So, today pray about the friends in your life now and even the friends to come. Don’t shut yourself off to the possibility of a beautiful friendship because you are scared to be hurt. I am speaking to myself too, there is someone out there waiting for your friendship, so ask God to open that door and let’s see what blooms!

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Hi! I'm Toni. I am a happily married, christian, momma of 3 living on Florida's sunny Gulf Coast. I am a lifestyle blogger and Seint Arist. I started blogging when my last child was born as a way to share my love of all things travel, cooking, beauty, recipes, and more. Now pull up a chair, grab a glass of sweet tea and let's get to know each other. I truly hope you enjoy getting A Daily Dose of Toni!


  1. 1

    I agree with your idea that “fruitful friendships are a way that we will not only learn more about the person but also ourselves.” I love my friends who always be there for me through ups and downs in my life.

    • 2

      It’s so true. We learn so much about ourselves and it’s so important to cultivate those fruitful friendships!

  2. 3

    What a thoughtful post! I’m inspired to try a little harder to cultivate lasting friendships with those around me that I value. Thank you!