For We Walk By Faith, Not By Sight (Guest Post)

2 Corinthians 5:7

That photo is Julie from Sober Julie and I am thrilled to have her guest posting here today.  When she sent me a draft of the post I teared up reading her story and testimony.  I hope it touches each of you just as much as it did me.  ~Toni

For many years I walked through my life by sight not by faith, I was aware that God was always there waiting for me but I avoided Him and the life I was being called to lead.

When I was a young girl I had a close relationship with God, I knew I was loved, planned by God and Jesus was my best friend. He was a loving friend who cared for me deeply and I recall almost every night He was the last being I spoke to, feeling safe in his arms.

I was blessed to have a happy home with my Parents and sister growing up. I attended church throughout my childhood, until I was allowed the decision to attend or not and I chose not to. I didn’t feel a community feeling.

During high school I went to Florida with a Christian youth group, my primary purpose was to hit the Beach but instead I found God again in my life. I was RENEWED!! The Holy Spirit filled me with the Joy of knowing Christ again! I couldn’t wait to get home to share with my family and friends.

Once at home life took over again, I didn’t have a church to attend, nobody to attend with and quickly my priorities became success through education, money, status, friends and love.

Years later I had 2 college diplomas and was living a very fast successful life by my standards at the time. But there was an emptiness within me, a feeling something was missing.

Throughout these years there were many moments where God was speaking to me directly. In quiet times, times where I felt guilty, felt a pull in a direction I was resisting. I knew God was calling me but I just couldn’t face what I foresaw the life of a Christian woman to be.

I can’t remember all of the God winks in my life but I remember the shame well and the need to busy my life to ignore it.

God sent my husband to me when I was just finished my 2nd diploma and wasn’t looking for love. But God knew best, we fell in love, this was the first person I was totally honest with in my adult life.

We were married, bought a house, had 2 children and were very happy together.

But deep inside I was still feeling emptiness.

When my first daughter was 5 months old I went with my sister to hear a speaker who challenged me to consider having a relationship with Christ. Suddenly it became clear to me that it wasn’t a huge task to complete but a journey to live. God already knew me, what I had done and really did love and accept me!!

I was filled with His Joy again!!

And again I was weak to the challenges of daily living and my focus went back to my old idols.

I have always been an all or nothing person, living each area of my life separately, wife, mother, daughter, employee, party girl but this all came to a head when my Alcoholism began taking over my life. The emptiness within me was growing; my 2-3 glasses of wine had become 3-5 bottles on a Friday or Saturday night with anger, hostility, bad choices and blackouts.

Last February I woke from one of these drunken nights and felt the shame before opening my eyes. I was tired of living this empty life and had NO idea how to face life without alcohol.

I prayed, I prayed to the God who held me as a little girl, prayed to the Lord I felt in my teens in Florida, reached out to the hand of Jesus I had felt in my 30’s.

I was utterly defeated, humble, stripped of myself and prayed to God to use my life for His will alone.

I felt a calm fill me as silent tears streamed out of my unopened eyes. I felt His presence, strength holding me and the words BLIND FAITH resounded in my head.

From this moment I have been born again, been led to a 12-Step Program, been called to be very open about my alcoholism and my journey with God.

Coming out as a Christian wasn’t easy, it was SCARY.  I had been a Soda Pop Christian before, all shaken and filled up then overtime became flat….I didn’t think this was the life I was being called to lead.

My entire perspective has changed, in my rebirth I’ve found purpose. Each day I give my life to God for His will. He knows I need him to be obvious with me and often is. I am accepting His Grace with action. So now I stand here, strong in my faith proclaiming loudly that Jesus Christ is my Saviour and for this I am humbled and grateful.

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Hi! I'm Toni. I am a happily married, christian, momma of 3 living on Florida's sunny Gulf Coast. I am a lifestyle blogger and Seint Arist. I started blogging when my last child was born as a way to share my love of all things travel, cooking, beauty, recipes, and more. Now pull up a chair, grab a glass of sweet tea and let's get to know each other. I truly hope you enjoy getting A Daily Dose of Toni!


  1. 1

    Great post Julie. Very well written!

  2. 2

    May your testimony bring hope and healing to those far and near! Thanks for sharing.

  3. 3

    I agree with the other poster, this is a wonderful testimony and may it change so many lives.

  4. 4

    Julie you always have amazing posts!

  5. 5

    I hope your testimony changes lives for people all around the world.

  6. 6

    very well written. as always.

  7. 7

    Beautiful and truly touching!

  8. 8

    Thank you all so much….God is soooo GOOD

  9. 9

    The Lord is amazing and I think we’re so lucky when we really feel his presence.

  10. 10
    Wendy [mapsgirl]

    I’m thinking that you have been brought into my life so that I know it is okay to be open about my faith. Yes, we are active in our church congregation and the activities at church; that we freely talk about. But I don’t talk about my faith and my relationship with God. Your words give me strength.

  11. 11

    What a touching testimony Julie. Our God is an awesome God.

  12. 12

    When things get really bad, it’s my faith that gets me through it.