When asked what I do for a living, I always have the same answer….”I am a stay at home mom”. When I give that answer, I don’t always get “Oh that’s wonderful that you can do that”, it’s usually the same look that seems to be one of disgust or annoyance. It makes me feel inferior and as if I am a horrible person for choosing to stay home with my children. Being a mom seven days a week is not easy. I pity those who think being a mom and housewife is an easy job because, in all actuality, I get more of a break when I go to work in the evenings than when I am at home. Let me tell you what happens in a day in my life (if I had to post all of what I do every day this would take you forever to read)!
I wake up, take a sip of coffee. Hear the kids waking, get their breakfast ready. Unload dishwasher, remember coffee heat it up and take another sip. Change a diaper and take jammies off to put day clothes on the kids (don’t forget mom is still in pj’s). Separate the laundry that needs to be done, realizes there is no basket to put the laundry in because it is still waiting to be put up from the day before. Take the journey to each room to put away clothes for each family member, realize still have not drank coffee, however, yet again it is cold so throw it back in the microwave. Get laundry into a basket and transfer to the washer. Pick up the first mess of the morning (oh yeah the time is only 8:30 a.m). Hear kids fighting over a toy, break up the fight and ask if they want to watch a movie. Put Cars on for the kids, get clothes out of the dryer from the night before and begin folding. First crash of the morning is at 9:15 so we are doing fairly well today, run into the room to see every toy from the toy container on the floor because little ones decided it would be funny to dump it all out.
Decide this is not a battle I am fighting at this moment and return to fold clothes…start to fold clothes and realize I yet again did not drink my coffee,-in fact, I completely forgot it in the microwave this time…turn microwave back on to heat coffee again. Go back to folding clothes, hear laundry machine go off, transfer those clothes to the dryer.
Then I think….. hmm…… I am a bit hungry, so I fix some cereal and sit down to eat it when one of the kids runs up tattling on the other, set cereal down to see what is going on, nothing significant…….. just wanting the toy the other has again (why I don’t invest in multiple of just one toy, I am not sure). So I get them happy again and return to folding clothes. The phone rings and it is a telemarketer, (I get off the phone fairly quick because I tell them I am the babysitter). I decide I will fold the clothes in a bit because it is now almost 11:00. Time for Bella’s nap so I put her down, during this time I have to spend time with Aidan so he can have some quality time with mommy. Bella wakes in about 1.5 hours, and the kids are hungry so I start to fix lunch when I remember I didn’t ever get to eat my cereal, so one bowl of cereal is wasted and soggy, but that is okay because it’s lunch time.
I fix the kids their lunch then I fix my lunch and sit to try to watch my show while I eat. Lunch surprisingly is peaceful today. After feeding the kids, they go out back to play. I start my laundry again, feeling sluggish, I could use that coffee that is still in the microwave, so once again I heat it up. I finally finish folding the basket of laundry, get it put away, and another load in the washer. I take the finished load out of the dryer and take it to my bedroom to fold. Being that I have not showered yet, and it is 1:30, I decide I could try to take my shower and get dressed.
I jump in the shower and 10 seconds later the two little ones are trying to climb into the shower fully dressed. With shampoo dripping into my eyes I have to attempt to reason with them to wait until I get done then they can have the bath all to themselves. After a short 3 minute shower (at least, I am conserving water) I get out and put them in the tub. Apply my makeup so I will feel at least a bit attractive. After my makeup, I dry my hair while they play in the bath and then fix it. By that time they are ready to get out, so I get each of them out and dress them so, we can all be prepared to pick up Gabriel from school. We leave to get Gabriel from school, come home, do homework, make snacks and the kids play. Playtime continues until dinner and bedtime when of course I am so exhausted I can barely function.
Obviously, it is not an easy task like some seem to think, and I did not even mention how many times I vacuum or clean up messes of spilled food and such on here, because then, in all honesty, would be a never-ending tale. It is very challenging to be a stay at home mom, trying to balance out time for yourself, time with your spouse, time for your kids, keep the house clean, and attempt to make friends- which is obviously not going to be easy when you have to take your children everywhere you go. Please take the time to realize just how much a stay at home mom has to do. Not she doesn’t have a whole lot of “me time” (meaning time away from the kids) whether she has 1 or 20 kids it is not easy. It is very rewarding to be able to stay at home with my children and I love that I will see every milestone for the most part. However, I can’t help but be a little envious of working moms who get to eat lunch without a child pulling on their leg, who has a much broader vocabulary than “no” or “I am not kidding”, or who get to be surrounded by adults daily.
That being said I am happy doing what I do, but I think there should be a lot more respect given to stay at home moms, it is a hard job and does not get the credit and compliment it deserves.
So please next time you ladies and fellows out there come in contact with a mom who stays at home, let them know that you appreciate all they do, just give them a compliment, and don’t look at them in a way that makes them feel inferior. It’s not an easy task, and not everyone is meant to be a stay at home mom, it’s stressful, it takes a toll on the sanity of the mom sometimes, but it is a job just like any other. Except stay at home moms don’t get paid in money, they get paid in the reward of being the caretaker of their house and children, and lots of hugs and kisses. Again, just let them know they are appreciated, not taken for granted and you know that the job they do is the one of the most important jobs in the world. Thank them every day and that will make a world of difference to them.
Oh, and I very rarely finish that cup of coffee in case you are wondering. LOL
**Originally published in July 2008, but I just had to bump it because it’s still a question I have today**
**Also please note I am not saying a stay at home (or work from home mom, which is what I am now) is superior to moms who work full-time outside of the home. I think they have so many challenges as well. In fact, if there is a full-time work outside of the home mom who would like to contribute a post to my blog, I would love to hear from you! Share your points, I know my readers would love to read a view from work outside of the home mom**
Toni Patton
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Thanks for joining in the carnival Toni. Your day feels very similar to mine and I only have one child! And I get the “isn’t it nice for you sitting at home all day” comments too!
Haha – I love the bit about the coffee. You are SO right about working away from the home being not as “busy”. I worked full time last year while my hubby stayed home with Svara. I was a teacher but at least I had my lunch break and breaks when they had their P.E., music, and art. I could peacefully eat my snack and lunch and check e-mails!
Now I’m staying at home. I LOVE it, but do find I don’t have as much time to myself!
Now I know why my mom (who had 7 kids) sometimes made us go play upstairs while she had a nap LOL