In public or in private. I hope I am stating the obvious here. I will admit IN THE PAST I have done this very thing but then a light came on and it was like
“You know I am only setting myself up to end up in a bad situation for me and the person I was talking about”
So I stopped right then. And honestly my life is much better and more peaceful because of that mindset. It’s not worth my time and energy to talk about or bash other bloggers, it’s called having integrity and good character.
My motto is vent to your friends but don’t take it public (think twitter) or on your blog. It just makes you look bad and then pretty much gives the person you are bashing the chance to play the “woe is me” card and turn others against you. Basically you are shooting yourself in the foot. Now let me run down the different types of bashers out there:
The Jealous Basher:
We have those that bash well because they can’t stand the fact that this person is liked more than them, they are suffering from what I like to call
“I am jealous but I act like I am not so my bashing is a bunch of lies I came up with in my head” syndrome.
Well dude, let that head of yours keep running in dream world because one day that is the only world you will be living in. Eventually everyone will see you for who you are and it will be a sad sad day for you then.
The Business Relationship Basher:
Next we have those that like to bash fellow bloggers to business or pr reps. In my opinion this is the most tacky of the bashing . What person goes to a company and tells them they should not work with this person??!! Usually this blogger has a personal vendetta against the person they are bashing and so they want to try to ruin them for nothing other than feeling like they have won. Man what a horrible world that turns out to be because we all know what goes around comes around and I have a feeling companies will drop them so quick in the future their head will spin.
The MegaPhone Blaster:
Then you have the outspoken bashers who basically do a no holds barred bash outright on their blogs, this is not good either. This reflects on the companies you are representing as well as the blogs you support on your site and that’s not fair to them. See point made in previous paragraph about being dropped at some point. Calling people out by name on your blog is tacky, if you have a situation going on don’t think you have to hold it in but the blogworld doesn’t need the names and deep details. Sure blog about the situation if you want but skim over it and no names!!
The I Don’t Want to Do It In Big Time Public Eye Because then I will Show my Real Character Basher:
Last the most pathetic of all….the sort of private basher the one who does it in private with a group of 40 or so girls. I guess that could be constrewed as the “mean girls” or the “clique of bashers”. These are the bashers who want everyone to think they are innocent and would *gasp* never bash other bloggers. What a pathetic world to live in to have to feel powerful by bashing to your followers.
I am sure there are others feel free to tell me who they are in the comments, I would love your basher definitions.
My point is…don’t bash, it’s unbecoming, it ALWAYS gets found out even if you think what you said is in private. Never assume what you say will stay between you and that certain group or that one person (unless it’s your bff)…it doesn’t.
Instead why don’t we all focus on promoting one another and pointing out the good. After all, bashing makes you ugly and if you are already ugly then it makes you absolutely horrid. So bloggers, be bash free and the blogging world can be peaceful just like it used to be. Sound good??
Bashing is uncalled for and should by no means EVER be done by ANYONE. In the end it’s all about character, some have good character and well the ones that don’t eventually show themselves for who they really are. Hmm maybe my next Blogtiquette lesson should be “Though shalt not have tweet wars with one another”
Blogtiquette Lesson 1:
Thou shalt not bash other bloggers.
*Disclaimer~ Nothing has happened with me, just my first blogtiquette lesson LOL. I have been watching from the outside and good people are going to ruin themselves if they don’t take this to heart. And well not good people just suck for doing it. So I thought what better lesson LOL. If you have any other ideas for Blogtiquette Lessons you would like my opinion on feel free to email me them 😉
Toni Patton
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Amen to that.
Wow! I had never thought about all of the vindictiveness that happens in the blogosphere.
If I don’t love what someone has to say, I just don’t read their blog, plain and simple!
Great advice!
This post is so true! I’ve noticed in my short time in the blogging world that even those times of bad bloggers overlap. Some of those bloggers do all of the above. Which is horrible. I hope I never get someone like that against me. But I would take your advice if i did.
Too true, too true. it’s hard to bite your tongue but it’s better to do that in the long run. I’ve been tempted so many times to talk about my own, personal blog bully. Instead, i keep my mouth shut and let it go. It’s better that way.
I never realized there was so much competitiveness or whatever it is that causes all this “bashing”.
It’s good advice you gave…I hope it works.
Good post. There are bloggers we all don’t like, just like people in real life. My theory is, why not just not associate with them?
In real life if I don’t like someone, I simply don’t talk to them or about them. I follow the same rules in bloggy land. Too bad everyone doesn’t.
Truth is, mean girls in cyberland are most likely the mean girls in real life. I just feel bad for them.
Thanks Toni. I am so new to blogging that I havent encountered this personally yet. I am sure the day will come… but I believe that you promote the great blogs you believe in & follow and if you arent too keen on another persons blog, oh well. Dont read them, dont follow them. But why bash them. This is a HUGE blogosphere and I have learned there is room for everyone so ppl need to chill and be nice. Thats all… be nice! Thanks again for sharing (especially for this newbie)
I know there seems to be a lot of bad blood out in the bloggy world. I’ve never heard who is and isn’t involved and I really don’t want to know either but it really does make me sad.
good post 🙂
Very well written Toni and sadly, very badly needed. Maybe this should be required reading prior to become a blogger?
Its sad that posts like this need to be written. You think people would know how to behave. I agree 100%
Bashers only hurt themselves.
YAY for you for rising above it.